Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Facing Fears & Conceptualizing.

It's like running through a lava pit of broken teacups.

You know the saying "do what you fear the most?" in the past, I was never (and still am not) able to. It was a silly thing, it was every chance I had to fall in love. Fail. Love is beauty and where is love? It's what I live for, but I don't feel it anymore, from anyone in that case. I'm afraid I'll never fall into true love, ever. I've met guys but I still have the online curse (it's complicated). On the other hand, with everyone else, I've been trying to figure out what the reason is. Maybe I know deep down in my heart, but even when I'm around people it's like they ignore me. For no reason. A few of my friends are still here for me, but in a way they aren't. Oh God, I'm starting to whine again. I tell myself to be tough and to stick it out. I feel like I'm sinking in quicksand day by day. I visualize my life as two parts: then and now. Maybe I should go read Anthony Kiedis' book again. (Then again, I can't focus, on anything.) Got nothing but time on our hands, and I'm waiting for a miracle.

"Genius is pain."- John Winston Lennon

xoxo lisa marie.

Next blog: Best of Songs for Thought. Or maybe I should wait? ♥

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