Friday, April 29, 2011

Diving.


To start off my junior year of high school, and to "temporarily" put gymnastics on hold, I decided to try something that I had never let see the light of day: diving. In theory, there is a ton of gymnastics related skills involved- part of the reason one of my best friends and I were yearning to try.

There were no tryouts, the diving group was small and we were automatically put on JV. It was August, we had the rest of the summer to workout, and essentially, learn to dive. I was so out of shape I couldn't even keep up with the runs. I thought I had asthma. I had to get used to ice cold water. Right off the bat I have to say, the board is not a trampoline. Repeat, the board is not a trampoline. Guys and girls alike have injured themselves with the board. (I personally knew someone who hit their head freshman year of high school.) I quickly learned this, along with how to dive, approach and all, and names of dives. Forward, backward, inward, reverse, and twisting. Okay, front, back, and twisting I know, but what about the other two? Famous last words.

 In an inward dive, there is no approach, you stand on the end of the board, backwards. Get enough momentum and propel your body backwards, feet in the air, and dive inwards, facing the same direction. Scary? You haven't heard anything yet. Perhaps the most frightening skill to learn (at least I think for beginners), is a reverse dive. Ever heard of a gainer in gymnastics? It's almost the same thing, except you're diving off a springboard into the water (which can brutally BRUISE your back or virtually any part of your body). Contrary to popular belief, you do NOT run off the board. We approached the end of the board like we normally would with a forward dive- three to four steps, arms swing up (at the exact moment you jump- crucial), give ourselves a single bounce and then... go for it. I ended up realizing doing a whole reverse back tuck is easier than just a dive. In all, you're facing forwards and then doing a back dive or flip. Hence reverse.


Eventually, everyone who was a beginner on the team quickly progressed, considering my best friend and I had an advantage, having done gymnastics. We started working on forward 1 1/2's, and eventually forward doubles. That was the fun part. I had always seen people do a front tuck into a dive (1 1/2) and wanted to do it. It was so exciting! Everything that we were working on came with a price: smacking the water- hard, and those bruises.

The other girls on the team had perfect form, and were competing really difficult skills, like backwards, reverse, and inward 1 1/2's and doubles, and full twists. My two best skills were a forward 1 1/2 and forward double. (They weren't as good as the varsity girls.) For my twisting dive (we needed at least one dive in every category) I competed a really bad, layed- out half. Form was never my forte (funny though, presently I tend to think of myself as more graceful than my past). Competing in diving wasn't completely as nerve- wracking as gymnastics, but I did tend to succumb to pressure due to anxiety.

My best friend and I ended up both quitting the team at different times. I know that if I didn't quit, I could be better. But I knew that I wasn't ever going to be good enough to do it in college, so it didn't matter. I was doing poorly in school at the time, and quitting just made me feel even worse. It made me think that all I ever did was quit or fail. I never knocked on wood.

All in all, I loved diving for what it was worth. Another sport of many I had done, another life lesson, another set of memories. I haven't touched a board since. Maybe this summer? Oh, and NEVER dive in a bikini. :)

xoxo lisa marie

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Guys, Girl, and the Internet.



Just do NOT mix. I never recommend getting into anything online, because it's not worth it. I spent a small part of my life getting myself into messes, I have to admit I somewhat liked doing it, and then it screwed up my life even more. None of it was real, and it was torture not being able to feel real life emotion, or even a real life human being. It's incredibly complicated, and I always thought my case was unique. All of it drove me to extreme sadness and other motivational, and medical issues. I actually got panic attacks at school when I'd "run in" to one of these guys. I ended up having friends abandon me sending my into a very painful time in my life. Funny though, I've been telling people I'd get an eHarmony account (or another online dating profile) partially as a joke, mostly for real. I'm cursed. I seem to fall for guys online, guys just seem to fall for me online, so why not go there? It's the proper way, it's set up, it's real, you end up meeting them and actually talking in the end....

Real life men? Don't even ask. It's hopeless. (I know I'm being a pessimist.)

xoxo lisa marie

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Refreshed.

I somewhat feel like a new person.
Music has assisted this feeling.

I've been listening to a lot of great music lately, but a lot of it's old, I find it hard to catch on to new stuff until it's already been played, analyzed, distorted or awarded. Lyrics play into so much, because, well it is the body of the song. Here are some of my favorite lines from songs I've been listening to recently. Most of them are popular songs you might know. I go by feel. Honestly, these songs aren't really that much about my emotions or life at the moment. They just feel right. ♥


"and I've always lived like this, keeping a comfortable distance. And up until now I've sworn to myself that I'm content with loneliness."


"like Al Pacino's cash nothing lasts in this life."


"these mistakes you've made you'll just make them again, if you only try turning around."


"drinking out, pacifier, sinking soul, there you are."


"I am high like a star that's flying, Cassiopeia, everything's changing now."


"give me a reason to end this discussion, to break with tradition, the fold and divide."


"walls of insencerity, shifting eyes and vacancy, vanished when I saw your face."


Cheers to the future.
xoxo lisa marie

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Under the Weather.



So. Within the past two weeks I: Went to visit a friend at U of I, came home, journeyed onward to Florida for spring break, where I proceeded to get really sick (bronchitis, I still have it) come home and went into work for four days straight. Whew. I've had little else on my mind besides congestion, coughing and antibiotics. But all else was well. Stayed in a sorority house for the first time, forced myself to go to Disney World and Universal Studios even with a fever because I haven't been there in forever. Harry Potter World was awesome as well. Happy One Day Belated Birthday to my best friend in that photo up there! Peace & love. :)

xoxo lisa marie

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Spring is For Breaking.



...Pack nothing.Leave without a note.Follow your internal compass.Wear what you slept in, sleep in what your wearing.Use SPF. Listen to the ocean but dont take its advice word for word.Insist on karaoke.Display skin.Attract a following.Steal a heart. Lose track of time.LIVE YOUR LIFE. - AE :)

"Nothing is impossible, the word itself says 'I'm possible'."- Audrey Hepburn

xoxo lisa marie

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Gym.

I am thankful for everyone who supported me in not deleting my blog.


I remember the time in my life where gymnastics totally encompassed my entire life. I sucked at it, but slowly over time I was inching my way up. I ate, breathed and lived gymnastics. I have to say I think I was one of the biggest fans. I knew who Shawn Johnson and was at least 3 years before the Olympics. Same with Nastia Liukin, Jonathan Horton, and Justin Spring. I remember seeing all these girls and guys, competing to be the best of the best. I regretted my eight year stint of figure skating when I was younger with a burning passion. "Mom, why didn't you keep me in gymnastics when I was little?" "It's because you loved something else." I didn't believe her and still don't to this day. A few years ago I made it my life goal to at least get a full. A full-twisting layout. If I ever did, my life would be "complete."

I started tumbling again at age 11, but ended up going back fully to gymnastics my freshman year of high school. Being on the team was so nerve wracking, I had never actually competed until then. I dislocated my knee- cap mid season and had to sit out. I believe that is part of what's happening next. I spent the off-season at my old gym USGTC working new skills.

I was pretty much thrown out of the high-school team my sophomore year for reasons that were "just a little" bit cloudy. I was the best. You might think I'm contradicting what I said earlier, but out of the entire group of girls for JV, I was the best at that time (excluding vault). I had worked so hard, all through the summer at my club gym, I had gotten new skills and sharpened my old ones. I was told I wasn't "supportive," oh, lets just not go there. I was devastated. The type of devastation where you lay on the floor and cry until the angels sigh. My best friend ended up making the team again. Just like everyone else, she hadn't worked out, or been in a gym, since the last season.

I decided to go back to my gym and ask if there was any way I could compete club. My coaches agreed. I had skills congruent of higher levels (6, 7) than the one I was competing. I had a round- off /flip flop/ back tuck on floor, back walk-overs and almost a flip-flop on beam. Even though I showed progression, I had to start at the bottom, it was part of the rules. It was difficult. Gymnastics, it's entire nature is difficult. Conditioning was hell, and my coaches were tough. Katie was always telling me to stop complaining, but I thought it was hilarious. Alicia and Kacey weren't really part of it. At the end of the season, I got all four Level 5 trophies for top scores. The reason primarily because I was the only Level 5.

I loved my team at the time, most of them were younger than me but everyone always brought something unique. It was sad to see some of my best friends leave during my time at USGTC, even in the summer before that season. Before the high- school melodrama. I tried my hardest, even when my hardest wasn't good enough. Tears, pain, beauty in movement, accomplishment, mental toughness. That is what defined my run. I could go on for hours of my gymnastics stories but I feel like I've rambled too long.

That was 5 years ago. All in all, gymnastics made me, and continues to make me happy. It was never about winning anything. Even though I sucked, it still filled me with pure joy, and the adrenaline rush you get from it. Guess what I do now?

xoxo lisa marie

Monday, March 7, 2011

On the Verge

I really feel like deleting my blog right now. I hate my life.
It can't be sunshine and daisies all the time. :(
"Friends are those people who know the words to the song in your heart and sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words."- Anonymous 
One of my favorite quotes, which has come true before. It still continues it's run.

xoxo lisa marie