Gym.

I am thankful for everyone who supported me in not deleting my blog.

I remember the time in my life where gymnastics totally encompassed my entire life. I sucked at it, but slowly over time I was inching my way up. I ate, breathed and lived gymnastics. I have to say I think I was one of the biggest fans. I knew who Shawn Johnson and was at least 3 years before the Olympics. Same with Nastia Liukin, Jonathan Horton, and Justin Spring. I remember seeing all these girls and guys, competing to be the best of the best. I regretted my eight year stint of figure skating when I was younger with a burning passion. "Mom, why didn't you keep me in gymnastics when I was little?" "It's because you loved something else." I didn't believe her and still don't to this day. A few years ago I made it my life goal to at least get a full. A full-twisting layout. If I ever did, my life would be "complete."

I started tumbling again at age 11, but ended up going back fully to gymnastics my freshman year of high school. Being on the team was so nerve wracking, I had never actually competed until then. I dislocated my knee- cap mid season and had to sit out. I believe that is part of what's happening next. I spent the off-season at my old gym USGTC working new skills.

I was pretty much thrown out of the high-school team my sophomore year for reasons that were "just a little" bit cloudy. I was the best. You might think I'm contradicting what I said earlier, but out of the entire group of girls for JV, I was the best at that time (excluding vault). I had worked so hard, all through the summer at my club gym, I had gotten new skills and sharpened my old ones. I was told I wasn't "supportive," oh, lets just not go there. I was devastated. The type of devastation where you lay on the floor and cry until the angels sigh. My best friend ended up making the team again. Just like everyone else, she hadn't worked out, or been in a gym, since the last season.

I decided to go back to my gym and ask if there was any way I could compete club. My coaches agreed. I had skills congruent of higher levels (6, 7) than the one I was competing. I had a round- off /flip flop/ back tuck on floor, back walk-overs and almost a flip-flop on beam. Even though I showed progression, I had to start at the bottom, it was part of the rules. It was difficult. Gymnastics, it's entire nature is difficult. Conditioning was hell, and my coaches were tough. Katie was always telling me to stop complaining, but I thought it was hilarious. Alicia and Kacey weren't really part of it. At the end of the season, I got all four Level 5 trophies for top scores. The reason primarily because I was the only Level 5.

I loved my team at the time, most of them were younger than me but everyone always brought something unique. It was sad to see some of my best friends leave during my time at USGTC, even in the summer before that season. Before the high- school melodrama. I tried my hardest, even when my hardest wasn't good enough. Tears, pain, beauty in movement, accomplishment, mental toughness. That is what defined my run. I could go on for hours of my gymnastics stories but I feel like I've rambled too long.

That was 5 years ago. All in all, gymnastics made me, and continues to make me happy. It was never about winning anything. Even though I sucked, it still filled me with pure joy, and the adrenaline rush you get from it. Guess what I do now?

xoxo lisa marie